Worse Than Sugar

I read that General Mills is reformulating their cereal marketed to kids 12 & under, to contain less than 10 grams of sugar per serving. Two things came to mind. First, I remembered a discussion in my Earth Science class in the 70s. "Ecology" was a new word, and Woodsy the Owl was telling us daily, "Give a hoot! Don't pollute!" Unleaded gas was just coming to the pumps, and we were encouraged to buy it for our cars. Why, we wondered, did unleaded cost more? Why does it cost more to NOT put something in? The answer, of course, was that the lead served a function which now has to be performed by another ingredient, which costs more. "Forget that," we said, as we pumped leaded gas into our cars for thirty cents a gallon. Second, I applied the scenario of substitution to the sugared cereal. Sugar serves a function in cereal that now has to be performed by another ingredient - but what? I have not found that information in any of GM's press releases. You can bet I'll be watching, though. There are things worse than sugar. Another consideration: a "serving" according to GM is 3/4 cup. Serve that to a 12-year-old boy and see how far you get. Although, if the cereal has that much sugar in it, maybe you just want to put on a pot of quick-cook oatmeal and add some milk and sugar yourself. More filling. More healthy. As much or as little sugar as you like. And you can pronounce everything in it. 

News Flash: I'm the Parent

Every time I hear a parent or teacher take a vote, I cringe.

Sure it's nice to be democratic if you're choosing what flavor of ice cream to buy. Matters of discipline and education are not, in my experience, best left to popular vote.

"Time to go to bed now, okay?" That little word at the end just ended your authority and asked for a vote.

"Let's take out our math books, okay?" You either are or are not going to work on math. Whose decision is that to make?

"Put your jacket on, okay?" Why, oh, why are you asking for the child's vote? One of you is the parent. If it matters, TELL him (nicely), "Put your coat on. We're leaving."

TELL him, "It's bed time. Kiss me night night!"

TELL your class, "Open your math text book to page 212."

Assert your authority. One of you is the leader. Only one. Who is it?

Who will you lead to excellence today?

The Ones Who Make Our Lives Easier

A previous post talked about teacher gifts. What about the other people who make my life better & easier? I'm talking about the people you don't think too much about. You only notice if the job DOESN'T get done. If the budget allows, a little Christmas cash is most welcome by those who quietly and efficiently take care of things for you. I don't have to go buy a newspaper at the store or corner. I have a great newspaper delivery guy. My newspaper is faithfully on my front lawn every morning when I wake up, rain or shine, clear or fog. He's as dependable as the postmen of old. No traveling to the PO unless I want to. I have a mail carrier who is faithful. That carrier has a sub who wishes to be full time, but is working part time, on the regular's off-day, for years until a full time spot opens up. Rural carriers and their subs use their own vehicles. (You don't have to live on a farm to have a "rural" carrier deliver your mail. Some cities only have rural carriers. It's just a category name.) They get mileage, but they're lucky to break even. Car break down? You better rent or borrow one and get in there to deliver the mail or lose your job. Monday is recycle pickup. Sure I pay fees to the utility company for water/sewer/garbage, but the guys out in the rain sorting out my bottles from cans make me appreciate my indoor job. Wednesday is trash day. Stuff at the curb just "magically" disappears. Amazing. Who takes care of that? Church secretaries have those church bulletins ready to hand out on Sunday morning. The pew pencils are sharpened. The dishtowels in the church kitchen are laundered. No trophies. No accolades. Just working people faithfully doing their job each day. Each of them contributes to my convenience. A thank you and a little cash is such a welcome gift. You might just make someone's day. Like they've made yours all year. 

The Right Way to Give, part III

Many Christmases ago, there was a family at church with a mom, a dad, and two precious little girls. The dad lost his job. Shortly after that, the mom was diagnosed with cancer and had to have surgery. Everyone at church was so moved by the family's plight, that they wanted to help this nice family. Well, not exactly. What they wanted to do was buy Christmas gifts for the little girls. And they did. Dolls and strollers and games and winter coats and bikes and dresses and video games filled the foyer of the church. Whee! Those little girls had more toys than a toy store! Gifts were piled higher than the girls were tall. And the parents still couldn't pay their water bill. What might have been a better gift? Cash. Groceries. Anonymously paying the family's utility bill. Did you know that anyone can walk into the utility company with a name and/or address and say "I want to pay this person's bill"? You don't have to be the homeowner. They'll take your money. It's fun to buy toys for other people's children. Paying someone else's water bill isn't "fun." Sometimes, though, meeting basic needs is a better gift. You weren't giving for the recognition anyway, were you? Were you? 

The Right Way to Give, part II

Parents, today's gift-giving wisdom is regarding teacher gifts.

Most students love to give their teacher presents. It might be a special drawing, a valentine, or a bona fide Christmas gift. If your child wants to give his or her teacher a gift this year, then I praise you for raising a generous child. Children do not accidentally become thoughtful of others. You have been modeling generous behavior for him or her.

That said, every teacher I know (hundreds) has enough tchochkes, lotion, and candles to last her an eternity. What do they want? When polls are taken, the most requested gift is - a gift card.

It doesn't have to be much. Even $5 or $10 is a lot to them. Teachers aren't paid much, so a gift card to Walmart or Target is especially useful. Bookstores and office supply stores are also welcome choices. She can buy something she needs for the classroom, or something personal for herself or her family. Many teachers like pizza delivery (for those evenings when there are papers to grade & no time to cook), dinner out, or Starbucks.

Gift cards are not tacky. They empower to the recipient to decide what she most needs/wants.

Empowerment is an awesome gift.

If the budget allows, you might consider token gifts (giftcards) for the support staff who do not get the recognition that teachers traditionally get. Is there a teacher's aide in the classroom? Ask your child. He knows. Are there enrichment teachers, such as computer, art, music, or P.E.? Ask your child if there are other school staff members whom he would like to remember, such as receptionists, custodians, cafeteria ladies, bus drivers, or librarians. These folks interact with your child on a daily basis, yet are often left out of the gift-giving loop.

Sure, with an unlimited budget you could buy gifts for every employee at the school, but most of us live within limits. We have to choose and prioritize. Talk to your child about those adults who are most influential in his life. You will not only learn who works at your child's school, but you will learn more about your child. That's a gift money can't buy.

To whom will you give the gift of empowerment this Christmas season?

The Right Way to Give, part I

Every time Oprah gives away cars to members of her audience, I wince. First, the cars are donated, so it costs her nothing. She gets to be the Fairy Godmother, giving away stuff. Ford gets the publicity. What do the recipients get? Suppose you live in Chicago. Downtown Chicago. And you happened to get Oprah tickets. And you are given a free car. Whee! Praise Oprah! What then? Now comes the hangover. Do you have a driver's license? Get one of those. Register the car with the DMV to get a title. Get tags on the car. Couple hundred dollars. Call your insurance agent to insure the car. Couple hundred dollars a month for a new car in a bad zip code. Park the car... where? In a rented space? Couple hundred dollars a month. Now this "free" car is costing you three or four hundred dollars a month, maybe more, plus annual tags. What kind of gift is that? Oh wait, don't forget the IRS. How many of the "winners" have to sell the car to pay the $7000 tax on the "gift" in the first place. Gifts that require financial obligation and maintenance are no gifts at all. 

Cancer is Big Business

The USA Mitchell Cancer Institute has been open about a year in Mobile, AL. There is an article in this morning's paper about how successful it has been, and how patient visits are expected to top 40,000 next year. What irony. Success is defined as many sick people. Or, I suppose, in the eyes of the bean counters, if they're going to go someplace, at least they're coming to you. There's a lot of hype in the last 40 years about "finding a cure" for cancer. Forty years. No results. Just hype. Every October pink ribbons abound for "awareness" of women's breasts. Hello, you think men haven't already noticed? Please. I read a book a dozen years ago called Why We Will Never Win the War on AIDS. One reason is the same for which we'll never win the "War on Cancer." There is too much money to be made in treating and politicizing it. No money is to be made if a cure is found. You won't find me running in Relay for Life. You won't find me sporting pink ribbons. You might, however, find me praying for and crying over those I've lost to Cancer. Or taking my elderly friends to the bank, the grocery store, radiation appointments, and so on. Substance over style. No hype. No money. Just quietly meeting the needs of the sick and infirm. 

Interview Question: Your Weakness?

Although I've not interviewed for a full-time teaching position per se, job interviews are job interviews. Some of the questions, from stories I've heard, are identical and as equally nerve-wracking as for non-teaching jobs.

The one I hate most is, "Tell me about your greatest weakness." My problem is, I don't focus on my weaknesses. I focus on the things I can do with excellence.

Some good advice is to answer the question using the phrase, "My growth areas are..." We all have areas in which we can grow, if doing so is an effective use of our time. I cannot hit the high notes when I sing, sometimes. Should I work on that, or is my energy better spent using the gifts and talents I have?

As a guest teacher in hundreds of classrooms, I can tell you what my weaknesses would be in the position of full time teacher. If a principal ever asks me the weakness question, I'm ready. Here's my answer:

"I missed those teacher's in-services on time-travel, mind reading, and human cloning. It's unfortunate, because I know that those skills would make me much more effective in my job. However, until I have the opportunity to make them up, I operate as effectively as I can within the boundaries that I can only be in one place at a time, I cannot read minds, and there is only one of me."

Come to think of it, those skills would make me a more effective parent, too. Good thing there's no interview required for that.

What can you do with excellence within your boundaries today?

Hurricanes & Hunkerin' Down

When Jim Cantore visits your town, look out! He's the hotshot from the Weather Channel who wants to be where the action is.

This late in the season, no one was prepared for a hurricane. So when Ida roared up to a Category 2 and headed for Mobile, hurried preparations were made. Ok, we didn't board up, but we checked water, batteries, radio, and counted 52 cards in the deck for our nonelectric entertainment.

I said special prayers of thanks that the temperature was cool enough that we wouldn't have to endure sleepless nights in unbearable heat & humidity, as we did in previous post-hurricane power outages.

Hurricane Ida made landfall two hours ago. she was downgraded to a tropical storm, and J.D. Crowe said "Jim Cantore [was] downgraded to Arrogant Guy Hanging Out on the Beach."

Even though the storm didn't turn out to be much of a storm, we as a family are counting the bonus time as a great opportunity to do things together: bake cookies, play scrabble, and catch up on reruns of "Touched By an Angel."

Yeah, we'll have to make up these school days. They'll whack a day or two off Thanksgiving or Christmas break. But it's so worth it to have a "surprise" day off. I can hardly wait to get going.

Those little pauses give an unexpected opportunity to reflect & reconnect.

What opportunities will you use to reflect, and with whom will you reconnect today?

Moms: The Original Multitaskers

When we were kids, we used to beat Mom at chess pretty regularly. When we were adults, she told us why. The kid was playing chess. Mom was compiling her grocery list, her dinner menu, her laundry schedule, etc etc.

Multitasking is a myth.

You cannot really focus on more than one thing at a time. Computers have parallel processors. You have one brain. If it looks like you're doing two things at once, you're really only focused on one of them. The real question is, how good are you at switching back & forth between tasks, and how many nanoseconds are lost in the switch? Young brains, some studies say, are better at switching, and so it appears that they are better at multitasking. I say it depends on the individual. I know young men who cannot switch focus to save their lives. If the house were on fire, they'd burn to death before they could take their eyes off the video game du jour. I know plenty of middle aged moms who are experts at it.

What mom doesn't juggle a multitude of pins?

Look at the hats we wear: personal valet, chef, maid, housekeeper, taxi driver, nurse, tutor, coach, cheerleader, household administrator ... There aren't enough hours in the day to do all that unless we overlap. Now we have spreadsheets, PDAs and other electronics to help us juggle our ever growing schedule. We quiz our times tables in the car on the way to school. We pick up fast food and eat on our way to sports practice.

In Home Ec class (now known as Family & Consumer Science) in high school, our teacher called it dovetailing. It's performing two essential activities simultaneously. For instance, while your cookies are in the oven, you start wiping the counters. It's an efficient use of time.

The problem, then, lies in "the moment." I've arrived at destinations barely aware that I drove there. I wasn't focused on my driving at all.

Scary.

I saw a six-car pileup on the highway yesterday. I wonder how many of them were multitaskers. Today I'm going to be more aware of the present. I may even beat my son at chess.

On what are you going to focus today?

Splenda, Story Problems, and Stupidity

When money is your god, there is never enough. I read in the paper today where the Splenda plant in McIntosh, Alabama is "ahead of schedule" in closing. Is this supposed to be good news? Pre-tax profits were $185,000,000. Most of the 120 workers are laid off. Production will continue in Singapore. Ok, so somewhere in Singapore, people are working and children are being fed. I'm happy for them. But it still doesn't make sense to the ones in Alabama. They did all the right things and lost their jobs. It only makes sense to those who worship money. All they can think of is more, more, more. When I teach math to first graders, I explain that story problems often have "clue words" that tell you if you are to add or subtract. If the story talks about how you have something, and then you get MORE, you are to add. If the question is comparative, how many MORE do you have than your friend, then you subtract. How would you explain this confusing story problem? Adding profits equals fewer jobs equals more hungry children, whose bellies won't be filled by Singapore Splenda. Fewer jobs equals more family stress, breakdown of families, neighborhoods, societies. The gap between the rich and poor grows ever wider. Welcome to Brazil II. 

Good New Days

I'm not sure how my mind segues from one topic to another, but I was reminded today of candy I used to eat when I was a kid: Black Cow. I wondered if products we loved in our youth will be once again available to us in Heaven, not that I'm in a hurry to get there. Then I wondered what was so great about them, other than that they reminded me of childhood. People always talk about "The Good Old Days" when they were carefree and had no worries. I don't remember mine being so good, and I had plenty of worries. I was bullied in the nice, Catholic school to which my parents made huge sacrifices to send my siblings and me. The teachers liked me, but the kids were awful. I was worried about grades. A's were acceptable. B's were not. I had to walk to the convent for guitar lessons, and as a tiny 4th grader, that guitar was awfully heavy. I could not ride a bike and carry the guitar, so I walked on guitar lesson days. I don't remember going hungry particularly, but we did have a large family, and Sister Angela (God rest her soul) used to give me Holy cards as a reward if I'd gain a pound. That was many years ago, and I don't remember it generally being a happy, joyous time. Today I have confidence I didn't have then. I have a much better self-image. I have knowledge and wisdom. I am focused on doing for others, instead of me me me. That, my friends, is the hallmark of maturity, whether age 8 or 80. Being happy with oneself and one's life, and having hope for the future trumps sitting around complaining how much better the olden days were, and that you can't buy black cows. Eat a Milkdud. Same candy, different shape. Whatever. 

Playing With People's Lives

Something is going on in Ukraine.

Supposedly 70 people have died of swine flu. Now it seems the number is closer to 1500, and the symptoms mimic pneumonic plage. Is it a bioweapon unleashed? By whom? Cui bono? (For whose enrichment?)

I'm not trusting the official party line about the 70 who were tagged "heart attack" or other causes, and I'm not trusting the "aerosol inhaler" version of the swine flu vaccine. The last thing we need is a hefty dose of toxic droplets floating around the air.

Heaven help us.

Pneumonic plague occurs when Y. pestis infects the lungs. This type of plague can spread from person to person through the air. Transmission can take place if someone breathes in aerosolized bacteria, which could happen in a bioterrorist attack. Pneumonic plague is also spread by breathing in Y. pestis suspended in respiratory droplets from a person (or animal) with pneumonic plague. Becoming infected in this way usually requires direct and close contact with the ill person or animal.

Pneumonic plague may also occur if a person with bubonic or septicemic plague is untreated and the bacteria spread to the lungs.

http://www.bt.cdc.gov/agent/plague/factsheet.asp

Dogs & Babies - The Litmus Test

If you ever want to make some change in your family, work, or community, take the litmus test of dogs and babies to help you decide if it makes sense.

Should we set the clocks ahead an hour in the spring, and back again in the fall? Litmus answer: No. Dogs and babies are on their own schedule, and just because you want to snooze for an extra hour in October, your dog and/or baby will not let you. He or she will be raring to go at the usual time. This policy of time change makes no sense. Several states acknowledge this fact. My state, unfortunately, does not.

Should we tax families to death so that a single wage earner cannot sustain even a lower-middle-class lifestyle? Again, litmus test answer: no. Babies should be with someone who loves them. Who loves them more than their mamas? Dogs want you home. They're not interested in waiting all day for life to begin.

Should we decorate a Christmas tree? Sure! Babies love the bright lights, and dogs... well, never mind.

Everything I need to know I learned from my dogs and babies.

What did you learn today?

They Think We're Stupid

Do the math, friends. How big a savings is this, really?

The Tenth Leper

The book of Luke, chapter 17, tells the story of how Jesus cured ten lepers. They all went off happy. Only one returned to thank Jesus.

This story is interesting because society does not encourage the kind of thoughtfulness displayed by the tenth leper. We in America have so much that we are "used to it" "expect it" and "demand" service from any and all.

Think about the people who make your life good: the cafeteria ladies at your children's school, the bank teller, your church secretary, the custodial staff where you work, the city maintenance worker watering flowers to make your town look nice. Sure they get paid to do their jobs, but how much better do you think they'd work if every once in a while someone said to them, "Thanks for all you do. I really appreciate you."

Even better, write a letter to their boss to go in their personnel file. They'll never forget your kindness.

Try this for one day. Plant random seeds of kindness wherever you go. Practice being grateful. Watch how great you feel at the end of the day. You'll get hooked and want to do it again, I bet. Better yet, you'll make many people happy, set a good example for others (your children?), and make the world a better place, just because you were here, purposely acting grateful.

I wonder what ever happened to the other 9? Did they adopt an attitude of entitlement? Did they demand cures for every other disease they contracted? Gotta wonder. When my children thank me for something, it makes me want to give them more. That's not such a stretch.

Gratitude is endearing. Entitlement is not.

Whom will you, the tenth leper, appreciate today?

First, Pick the Right Parents

The popular myth is that any kid can grow up to be President. Sadly, this is not the case.

At the time I became politically aware of issues, legislation and candidates, I prayed that my children would *not* want to be President. There were so many compromises made just to get to the House, the Senate, or the Governor's Mansion, that it occurred to me "any kid" cannot afford just to waltz in there. Even when we elected "someone good" to the House, they always ended up voting for stupid bills and I found myself wanting to get rid of them once more! They have to make alliances with PACs and special interest groups to get the funding to advertise & run an effective campaign.

But even being rich on your own doesn't do it. Ross Perot is proof of that.

This morning, I read that Barack Obama is related to every President except Martin Van Buren. Why does this not surprise me? How does a foreign-born "outsider" waltz into the White House? It wasn't just the political compromises and financial alliances. Like royalty, he was born into it, groomed since birth.

KSBW.com says this:

BridgeAnne d'Avignon, who attends Monte Vista Christian School in Watsonville, traced that Obama, and all other U.S. presidents except Martin Van Buren, are related to John "Lackland" Plantagenet, a king of England and signer of the Magna Carta.

The student and her grandfather, who is a genealogist, spent this past summer designing the first known family tree chart in history that shows the presidents' direct relationship. BridgeAnne's grandfather has researched president genealogy for 60 years.

So there you have it. If you want to be President, it's very simple.

Pick the right parents.

Who Wants My Stuff?

One man's trash is another one's treasure, as the saying goes. Why send stuff to the landfill when there might be someone nearby who wants what you have? Consider the following:

Threadbare sheets, towels, and blankets. The Humane Society where I used to live collected these to use on animals as they came out of spay/neuter surgery. Puppies don't care if they're not 400 thread count.

Ink cartridges. Every school I know collects these for recycling. It's a money-maker for the schools. Office supply stores such as Staples & Office Depot accept them also.

Old cell phones. Cell Phones for Soldiers provides one hour of talk time for soldiers stationed abroad for every old cell phone donated.

Furniture. There exist, in almost every town, thrift stores such as Goodwill, Salvation Army, or Vietnam Vets, that sell used household items. If you have a couch that is in decent shape, donate it. Most times, the store will pick it up for you. If they tell you they would love it but cannot pick it up, then ask your tax adviser if you can hire two men and truck to take it there, and deduct that cost, as well as the value of the couch, as a charitable donation on your taxes.

Household items like dishes, pots, pans, silverware, lamps, and decent bedding. When two adults combine households, you really need to assess how many toasters any one family needs. Catholic Social Services (call your local Catholic parish to get the number) has a refugee resettlement program in many cities whereby families are arriving here from war-torn countries with nothing but the shirts on their backs. They are setting up households with nothing and would welcome a fork, spoon, or coffee cup.

Eyeglasses. The Lion's Club wants them.

Clothing. When our family was struggling financially, people would give me bags of clothes, saying that they didn't want to donate them to Goodwill "because they just sell them." The giver wanted to give the items to the person who would actually use them. I received the items gratefully but gently informed the giver that when you donate to Goodwill, "you bless people like me." I was able to buy a winter coat at a bargain price that I never could have afforded at a store. Every time I wear that coat, I bless the person who generously donated it to the thrift store.

I take a tax deduction of 14 cents/mile to deliver my bag of clothes to the charity drop off point.

Books and magazines. Libraries usually have a book sale, either annually or ongoing, to raise funds. Donations are most welcome.

Office supplies. If you have obsolete stationery (letterhead or envelopes) donate them to a preschool or elementary school. The lower grades send letters to Santa, and the envelopes can also be used to send notes home. Pencils are welcome at every school and almost every grade (I say almost because there are classrooms where they use the "fat" pencils instead.) In fact, you might check out the teacher's lounge and see if it is in need of a pencil holder, pencils, stapler, tape dispenser, and sticky notes.

Shoes. Believe it or not, there are charities that specialize in accepting & distributing donations of used shoes. Soles4Souls is one, Shoe Bank is another.

There may be many other willing recipients of stuff you no longer want. Call your church secretary (or the secretary of the largest church in your town) because she is often a link in the chain of those who need, and those who donate. She might have just the person who needs what you have.

You can't take it with you. Be a channel, not a reservoir.

Whom are you going to bless with your stuff today?

Get Your Free Smiles Here!

Every day, I go to public places such as stores, the post office, schools, where I might pass by hundreds of people. My eyes are always looking around. I am aware of not only what is around me, but whom. I try to make eye contact with as many people as I can. I smile at hundreds of people every day. Some of them smile back. Some of them walk past me as if they did not see me, even though they might have passed within inches.

What's their deal?

I have to wonder what makes someone so inwardly-focused that they fail to connect with other humans. In our frenzied pace we might not have an opportunity to engage in a lengthy conversation or discourse on local politics. That's ok. I was just looking for eye contact, a silent connection that communicated, "hey, I'm here too." Is it just their personality, or do they really have too many friends and no need of further human contact? Have they been hurt so many times that they just don't take chances any more? And is hurting me going to relieve their hurt?

I'm giving away smiles and getting relief from my loneliness in return. You can, too. It costs nothing. In today's economy, it's a bargain. Try it.

To whom are you going to give away smiles today?

You Can't Give What You Don't Have

Remember the old TV show "Let's Make a Deal"? Monty Hall would say to a lady in the audience, "I'll give you fifty dollars if you have a hard boiled egg in your purse." Sure enough, the exuberant lady would pull out the egg and collect her cool fifty. She came prepared. She had watched the show often enough to know what kinds of things Monty was likely to request. We can only give what we have. Had the lady not brought along the egg, she could not have presented it at the appointed time. Ok, thanks, Captain Obvious. What has this got to do with anything? It's about relationships. Miserable people give away their misery. If you don't have joy, you can't give joy. If you only have misery, then that's the only item in your "bag." Do you wonder why some people leave you feeling drained every time you're near them? Misery drains your energy. It's hard to keep people propped up all the time. Maybe you'd be doing them a favor to let them prop themselves up once in a while. Joy comes from giving & serving others. When you get out of yourself and start living for others you build joy in your heart. Only when you have it then are you able to give it away. Forgive the ones who spread misery. They can only give what they have. Maybe you can share with them the secret to having the joy they need, instead of propping them up. 

Gratitude

There was a weird sun-rain today. That's when the sun is shining and yet it's raining. While waiting at a stoplight, I saw a most amazing double rainbow. If you look above the first rainbow, you'll see another one, which reflects the first.

As if the rainbow were not impressive enough, how incredible is the technology that allowed me to snap a photo of it on my cell phone, and send it wirelessly to my computer at home?

Suppose the only things you had tomorrow were the things you are grateful for today?

For what (and whom) are you giving thanks today?

Beautiful Distractions

I taught a Vacation Bible School class years ago that, simply by chance, turned out to be a class of boys. We used drama to memorize our verses. We used action to play out the Scripture. We charged from one station to the next like the good Christian Soldiers that we were.

The pencils maintained their pristine points, while the workbooks gathered dust on the table.

If I'd had ONE girl in that class, I could not have taught the same way. We'd have had to do the workbooks at some point. I was so grateful to be able to reach & teach the boys without workbooks.

Dr. William Campbell Douglass II, M.D. has a newsletter about common sense medicine. He talks about the distraction that pretty women pose to men in academic (or other) settings. Here's what he says:

Their drop-dead good looks make our minds turn to mush.

When I had a few moments free from the distractions of the pretty women in my life, I read about a study in the Journal of Experimental and Social Psychology that looked at how these women damage our thinking.

The study asked men to perform a simple memory test. Then, they repeated the test after talking to other men, and talking to beautiful women. What they found was unsurprising: The more attractive the woman, the worse they did on that test.

Women, on the other hand, performed about the same on their tests no matter who they spoke to, proving once again that whoever called them the weaker sex was probably weak in the head.

Single gender classrooms work.

A respected medical journal verifies what my experience teaching all-girls, all-boys, and mixed classes has long ago taught me. "Male and female He created them." They do not think alike. I'm thankful for the differences. And I'm thankful for this information because every time there's a single gender class to teach, my hand is going up fast.

How are you going to use your knowledge to help someone today?

School Fundraisers

Here they come again - the neighborhood children with fliers of products for them to sell around the neighborhood. You've seen them: cheesecakes, wrapping paper, soup mix, so on. The schools are in a pinch. I buy their stuff. I support my schools, and my neighborhood kids. But $10 wrapping paper is getting old. Gift bags (reusable) are more eco-friendly. And I've tasted that cheesecake. Sorry - um, no thanks.

Here's a cool idea I read about here: http://bit.ly/2Xt27f

This fundraiser has almost no overhead. You get a LaZBoy recliner donated (out of somebody's basement) for a day. You sell raffle tickets (this site said 25 cents, I'm thinking a dollar) and if your name is drawn, you get to sit in the recliner during each of your classes. The Student Council (or whatever group is doing the fundraiser) members put the chair in your first period class. After class, they come and move the chair to your second period class, and so on.

What kid would not love this?

Most middle and high schoolers I know have a dollar to spare, and every one of them would take this chance. The best part? Money is raised for a good cause, kids are spending their own money, not Mom's, and I don't have to eat nasty cheesecake that will go straight to my hips, nor wrap Christmas gifts with paper that will be out to the trash on Dec 26.

Wrapping paper - $10
Cheesecake - $14
The memories (and yearbook photos) of "LaZBoy Day?" Priceless.

How are you going to help your school raise funds today?

Achievement Tests

When I was in lower grades, we used to take what were called "achievement tests." They were computer graded tests (bring two sharpened number 2 pencils, fill in the bubble) that were designed to assess your achievement. What have you learned? How do you and your school rank nationally? The teachers stressed the importance of doing our best and following directions exactly, because these were important tests. And yes, they are. Achievement is good.

Reaching a goal rocks.

My boys played soccer. Each year after the awards banquet, they'd come home with some sort of trophy. Up it went on the shelf for Mom to dust. As I dusted the trophies, I felt bad that I didn't have much pride in them. They didn't represent anything more than attendance. You show up, you get a trophy. Big deal. A trophy should represent an achievement, otherwise it's just a piece of plastic gathering dust on your shelf.

A certain athlete is alleged to have used steroids to beat another athlete's record. I can't say if he did or did not use steroids, but if he did, then he knows in his heart that his trophy is worthless. Steroids are cheating. Or put the steroids-users against other steroids-users, and the non-users against the non-users. At least that levels the playing field.

How would you feel if your teenager bragged about beating a 6-year old in chess? Where's the competition? What has he achieved?

Which brings us back to the first point. I remember being quite proud of my scores on the achievement tests. My children derive a great deal of self-esteem when they master some academic material, or reach a goal.

No one has to "teach" them to feel good about it. Self esteem is derived from mastery.

I've never won a trophy. I don't want one, either, unless it represents an achievement. I don't need more plastic to dust.

Who are you going to encourage to achieve today?

Can You Hear Me Now?

A while back, I had some really good news. It had been a long time since this had last happened, so I was pretty pumped. I ran into a former friend of mine at the post office, and greeted her warmly and shared my good news - I was sure she'd want my life's update. Well, she was polite, but that's about it. She left abruptly.

I pondered this all the way home. Was she mad at me? Did I say something wrong? Yeah, I did. I should have asked how she was doing. In my excitement about my news, I forgot that maybe she had news, too. I recalled times when people told me all the great things going on in their life, and my envy prevented me from sharing their joy. Maybe my friend has recently gotten some bad news that she needed to share, but didn't feel comfortable popping my bubble.

Then I remembered other times when my feelings were hurt by well-meaning friends. Do the friends even know how much they hurt me? Probably not. And I didn't, at the time, realize that I was probably hurting my friend at the post office. Only later did I think that it was even possible.

Next time I run into a friend or used-to-be friend, I'm going to be purposeful about talking less and listening more.

The world does not need someone to talk; it needs someone to listen.

To whom are you going to really listen today?

Mother Guilt & Personal Responsibility

As a mother, I'm inclined to take the blame for everything that's wrong in my family's world. You're cold? Let me get you a sweater and fix hot cocoa. You're hungry? Here's some food. From the time they are infants, moms are programmed to respond to their needs. If Mom is smart, there comes a point where she must allow them the privilege of taking responsibility for fixing their own problems. It's tough to let go, though, because I can do things better and faster.

They might make a mess, but they'll also learn how to fix a sandwich.

There is a policy in my house: I only wash the clothing that is in the laundry room. That makes sense, of course, since that's where the washer is. However, it doesn't stop children from complaining that the item of clothing left under their bed is not clean and ready to wear when they want it.

I suppose it's easier (although childish) for them to complain than to discipline themselves to keep their clothing where it belongs.

Then there is the inevitable frustration of clothing that found its way in the laundry room too late for the last load. When I hear "I need this RIGHT NOW and it's not clean!" then I have to take a deep breath and realize that this could easily turn into a "I'm so sorry, what can I do to make you happy" guilt fest, or a shouting match. One of us has to be the grown up. So I say something like, "Let me get this straight: I failed to read your mind, and now you're angry?" This usually buys me time as they puzzle through what I just said. My point, though, often comes through: if you want something, tell me. If I can help you, I will. If I think you need to help yourself, I'll make that clear, too.

Don't allow yourself to be bullied by people who want you to do what they should be doing, by those who expect you to read their minds, or by those who want to absolve themselves of guilt by putting it on you. You have enough problems of your own - don't take on those of others.

Who are you going to teach to be self-sufficient today?

I Was Always on My Mind

The road to hell... as they say.

I heard Kevin Skinner on "America's Got Talent" (love him!!!) sing an old Willie Nelson tune. The lyrics are something like, "Little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time. But you were always on my mind..." No I wasn't. YOU were always on your mind.

Love compels to action.

If you are thinking fondly of someone, yet fail to communicate that thought, you may as well never had it at all. How hard is it to pick up the phone & say, "Hey, I was thinking about you - how are you doin'?"

Do you know how much joy you can bring to someone for a mere 44 cents? Let me clue you in: many elderly people are probably not on SMS, email, Twitter, Facebook, or Linked In. They do, however, go to their physical mailbox each day. If you see a funny cartoon that reminds you of your 5th grade teacher, cut it out, drop it in an envelope (with or without a note) and send it on its way. Took you all of a minute and a 44 cent stamp, to bring untold joy to another.

What a bargain!

I know couples who have been married 50+ years. How does that happen? By being generous of time and action. You do for each other, you give your time, your attention, and all those acts of love daily: fix coffee, pick up socks, laugh as his or her jokes, send a text message saying "Thanks for being mine," bring home a single flower, help with the dishes... It's not a big deal; it's a thousand little ones. You don't stay married by being selfish. Two selfish people can barely stay married 6 months. For God so loved the world that he gave.

Love = giving.

You have to give to be happy. It's an essential ingredient in marriage, the secret for positive relationships and successful families.

Who is on your mind today?

Smart Consumer: The Soapmakers

The first rule of being a "Smart Consumer" (as opposed to one who mindlessly buys whatever appeals to him at that moment...) is this: Don't let the soap makers tell you how much soap to use. Yeah, the soap makers are going to hate me for this, but it's true. Think about it. On the shampoo bottle it says "Lather. Rinse. Repeat." Repeat? Repeat? With one word the guy who came up with those directions doubled sales overnight. Ok, maybe everyone doesn't wash their hair twice at each shampooing. Perhaps that advice made sense when people used to wash their hair once a week or less. The point is, of course the shampoo maker wants you to wash your hair twice. The real question is, why are you letting them tell you how much to use? When you do laundry, look at the levels on the detergent scoop: Medium Large Extra Large. Are we in BooksAMillion buying a coffee now? There is no small? What's up with that? Ignore the levels on the scoop and you discover for yourself how little it takes to get your clothes clean. If you stuff your washer too full, the soap doesn't rinse out well, and you can have skin problems. If you use too much soap, it's a waste. Wasting money is not smart. So stop letting them tell you. 

Write it Down - Quick!

What if Marco Polo, who told his tales of travel to a fellow inmate, who was a writer, told them instead to a guy who replied, "Oh, that's nice"? The Travels of Marco Polo would not exist.

If you don't write it down, it didn't happen.

What if your child makes the chess team at middle school, and practices are weekly, county meets are monthly, and tournaments are TBA? How do you keep your child's calendar straight along with your own? Write it down. Get a date book, and live by your date book. Make it big enough to record events that require your presence/preparation/driver's license, and then carry a purse that is big enough to carry your date book. If you leave the date book home, you'll double book yourself, because you cannot remember every detail. No you can't. Don't let your children fall into the bad habit of thinking that their mere mention of a future event transfers all responsibility on you to "make it happen." Give it back to them saying, "I'm driving right now. Tell me about it again when I have my date book out."

At my house, we have a rule: If it isn't written down, it doesn't happen.

I bought several things when my babies were born. One of them was a journal. I recorded things like height, weight, and first words, but the hilarious things were some of the other words that came at age three, four, and five, like "If I go away to college, who will wash my hair?" I'd record excerpts of our conversation, let them tell me about their favorite food, toys, and tv shows, while I wrote it all down with the date. When the moment is cute and adorable, you tend to think "Oh, I'll always remember this!" You WON'T. Write it down. I'll go back and read some of the hilarious comments my kids said and I find myself rolling on the floor. Literally. You don't want to miss out on that joy.

If you didn't write it down, it didn't happen.

What are you going to write today?

Insurance - Bet You Won't!

I find it hilarious that states, like my beloved Alabama, that won't allow gambling (except dog tracks) allow insurance companies to operate. What do you think insurance is? Gambling. You say, (as you pay your premium) "I bet I'm going to die this month!" The Company says, "Bet you won't!" You're still alive - you lose! Next month rolls around and you whip out your checkbook saying, "Bet I'm going to die..."

If you have life insurance, keep in mind the reason you bought it. You have a spouse or children who will face severe hardship without your income. If you have no spouse or children, why do you have insurance? If you are single, you do not need more than maybe a tiny little term policy to pay for your burial, which does not have to be elaborate.

If you are saving for retirement, again, a whole life policy might be wise. But refrain from over-insuring yourself. Don't get caught up in policies for specific diseases or conditions: cancer, aids, nursing home. It's a sucker's bet - the odds are so slim that you will ever cash in on these. Why do you think the insurance companies hire the math majors to work their actuarial tables. They know what the odds are, believe me. Do you?

Balance prudence for your family's finances with faith in God and His provision.

Who are you going to trust today?

Reading, Writing, and Whuh....?

Arithmetic is the simplest part of mathematics. A preschooler learns to count things. She eventually grasps the concept of "more," as in, "Which pile has more?" or "Would you like some more?" Kids have to understand that the squiggly lines called numerals have values we call numbers. The squiggly numeral 4 has a value that's one bigger than the squiggly numeral 3. 4>3 and so on. Once you understand the values, you manipulate them, with operations like addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. Why? Because manipulating the values represents higher level thinking. This is what education is about. You start at the basics and progress. You can't skip a step, not in math. What you learn is built upon what you already know. What good is it to know it, if you can't do anything with it? So we memorize math facts. 1+1=2 and so on. Wait a minute - memorization is higher level thinking? Yes and no. You understand the concept of "mom gave me one, and then one more = now I have twice as many cookies to eat" before you start to memorize. You KNOW the concept. You MEMORIZE the facts. Memorization is not "old school." It's tried & true. I hope that next time a surgeon operates on me, he has memorized every bone and muscle in the human body. That information will come in handy as he uses his higher learning knowledge to proceed with the surgery - I don't want him Googling locations of body parts on his iPhone while the scalpel is in his other hand. Memorizing is simple and necessary, from toddler on up. For school age kids who need to learn facts such as the times tables, I recommend flash cards. Yes, flash cards. These wonderful little pieces of paper (homemade) or full-color card stock (store bought) should sit on the table closest to the tv. What? Yeah, bear with me... Kids do not learn to speak by having formal 2-hour lessons thrice weekly. No. They picked up vocabulary a little at a time, in tiny daily doses. So don't make them sit through 2-hour sessions of math facts. Ugh. Put the flashcards next to the tv remote. When Junior is watching cartoons, and a commercial comes on, he picks up the remote, mutes the sound, and picks up the flashcards. How many can [he/you & he] go through during the commercial break? Show back on? Put the cards down and let him go back to the show. You can do flashcards at breakfast, in between bites of oatmeal. You can go through them after school, or have him review them while he's in the car or bus on his way home from school. Review them during tv commercials, and again at bedtime. It will be a matter of mere weeks before he has them down pat. Seriously. He'll build on what he knows about squiggly numerals when he learns about the values of coins and bills later on. And everyone needs to know that. 

What's Honor Got to do With It?

Honor thy father and thy mother. This is ancient wisdom, and best heeded. It goes beyond Mom & Dad, however. In Chinese and other Asian cultures, age and wisdom are revered. The elderly are treated with more respect than they seem to be treated in Western culture. Honor is a big deal. Guess what? It IS big here, whether you know it or not. Honoring your parents means more than obeying them as a kid. It's more than providing for their needs in their old age/infirmary.

Honoring your parents means bringing honor to your family.

What is your "Family" name? It's your last name. My first name is Connie. My family name is Kennedy. I bring honor to my family by the way that I act in my community. Everyone "knows" that we Kennedys are nice people. How did we get this reputation? By being nice to people. We are known for being dependable, honest, and trustworthy. This reputation is built small deed by small deed, day by day. When my children are out in public, they represent our family. When they are in school, they represent our family. Teach your children to be good ambassadors of your family. It's not just about "breaking a commandment," it's about building and maintaining positive relationships, inside and outside your family.

How are you representing your family today?