Dec 15, 2015

Discernment

We are commanded to love others. We are not commanded to like them, to enjoy spending time with them, to want to sit on their lap, to tell them our deepest desires.

It's ok, Honey. I get it. Clowns are creepy, too.

Nov 16, 2015

Compliments

Compliments, like perfume, are meant to be inhaled, not swallowed. However, false modesty can prevent us from receiving compliments properly.

Do not deny the merit.

"That was a really great somersault, DW!"
Wrong:
"Oh, no! It was terrible! Yours are MUCH better!"
Right:
"Thank you, Emily! I appreciate your coaching."

"You were awesome help at our event tonight, Arthur."
Wrong:
Awwww, you're way too kind.
Right:
Thanks, I'm happy to help.

Make the giver of the compliment, just as the giver of a gift, feel comfortable.

Oct 23, 2015

The End of the Parade

At the end of the parade, you get those who are dedicated to doing their job. They don't get the accolades that the Grand Marshal gets. You don't read his name or see his photo in the paper. He just does his job.

More of us are street sweepers than Grand Marshals.

Most of us just quietly do our job without recognition.

I want you to do two things:
1. Keep doing your job with excellence, because the excellent God we serve sees what you're doing and, more importantly, knows your heart.
2. When you see a "street sweeper," make it a point to say words of appreciation.

You could change a life.

Or an eternity.

Oct 21, 2015

Ripples in the Pond

For every person to whom you are kind, there are hundreds of others in succession that your kindness will affect.

Like ripples in the pond, when you are kind to one, you are kind to hundreds. Every word, every deed is multiplied.

Joyce Meyer said (paraphrasing) as many people as you can help, that's exactly how many you can hurt.

Choose wisely. Choose well.

Oct 7, 2015

I Can't Make You Happy!

Some people are determined to be miserable no matter what.

You can't make them happy.

I can't make them happy.

It's not my job to make them happy.

As soon as I succeed in "making them happy," they'll find something else about which to be miserable.

Because the problem isn't with me.

It's with them.


Oct 1, 2015

Living In The Moment

You spend all afternoon building something that you know is not going to be there tomorrow.

What's groovy about it is that it forces you to live in the moment. You have to appreciate what you have NOW.

A groovy way to live - every moment.

No one is guaranteed tomorrow.

Sep 7, 2015

The Middle Class

Unions built the middle class. Before unions, there were the business owners at the top, and the workers at the bottom. There was also child labor, dangerous working conditions, 7-day work weeks, slave wages.

Yes, there is plenty of power grabbing, greed, and maybe even extortion in many unions, and I'm sorry. That doesn't mean that all union activity is always bad.

Someone tell Walmart. Someone tell the Post Office.

If all owners/managers were always good, there would be no need for unions. Because of the human condition, all owners & managers do not treat their employees charitably.

Unions are a physical response to a spiritual problem. We can't change their heart, but maybe we can legislate or negotiate a contract whereby we are to be treated humanely. A sad substitute, but we can only fight with the weapons we have.

Sep 3, 2015

When Beloved Toys Wear Out

The babies in the nursery loved this toy so much, it wore out. "Mrs. Connie, why doesn't the chicken stay down?" "It's just too tired, Darling."

I'm thinking of putting some ornaments on the church's angel tree at Christmas time. Surely someone has a 1984 vintage Pop Up Pets toy that their child has outgrown!

How about a Magna Doodle? Preschoolers can draw without hurting anyone or anything. It's a great toy. Ours, sadly, is worn out.

I hate to ask for toys, when there are plenty, but the well loved ones wear out after a while, and others are just ignored. It occurs to me that if the toy industry really wanted to know what toddlers like to play with, they'd ask me. I've been there since 2006, and some of the toys the kids love were ten years old when I got there!

I'm going to clean out the nursery and donate the toys that no one seems to love or play with. They deserve a better home.

If we get more toys at Christmas, fine. If not, fine. As I said before, it's just stuff. I can sing and we can have a dance party if all we have is an empty room.

Genesis 45:20: That's how I roll.



Aug 28, 2015

It's Your Money...

JG Wentworth has a completely adorable tv commercial, with a memorable phone number: 877-CASH-NOW,

However, what we now know about the buyers of structured settlements is disturbing, at best.

Many people who are mentally impaired from lead exposure, and receiving a settlement to pay for their ongoing medical needs, do not have the capacity to form a contract, but annuity buyers seem to be targeting them for as low as nine cents on the dollar!

Is no one advocating for these people? Where is their family?

Friends, we must take care of our families. We cannot let predators steal from those we love. If we do not defend the defenseless, we may find ourselves, one day, with no one to speak for us. Teach your children how to respect the elderly and infirm, by modeling the behavior yourself.

The kids are watching. You're teaching them how to treat you when you are elderly, whether you mean to or not.


Aug 14, 2015

Those Surveys

$$$$$   CONGRATULATIONS   $$$$$$$
You have been selected to enter an online survey!
You could win $1000 gift card!


Wow. Does anyone besides me find anything wrong with this?

They're clever; that's for sure. They get your attention with the $ and congratulatory note. Makes you think you've already won.

You've been "selected." You're special! (Put this in the same category as "You deserve a break today...")

You  could enter the survey and NOT win. What happens then? Corporate now has data on thousands (hundreds of thousands, likely) of customers, their email and snail mail addresses, probably their phone number, where and when they shop, what they bought (via barcode - connected records) AND

AND

AND

It saves them from doing their job. Bonus! In the fine Tom Sawyer tradition, they get YOU, the shopper, to evaluate whether their cashiers are fast and friendly, so they don't have to come down to the sales floor and see for themselves.

Wait, you thought it was about the cashiers?

It was about the data all along.

Aug 13, 2015

Caller ID

I love caller ID. What a time saver!

Do people not realize that my phone is for *my* convenience? I check caller ID before I answer the land line, because it's so spammified with robo callers and telemarketers.

My real friends/families/business associates have my cell phone.

Which also has caller ID.

My tech guru (a/k/a my son from Turkey) told me in the late 1990s (yes, the 90s!!!) that caller ID could be faked. I think his exact words were, "do you want your mom to get a call from the White House?" so... there's that. But again, who would fake their ID if they were my friend, family, or business associate?

If you want me, call my cell phone.

Or text me.

Or Facebook message.

Or Twitter DM.

Or email, if that works for you. Speaking of 1990s, I've had the same email address since 1995. Cool or pathetic - not sure which.

I'm perfectly available, to people with legitimate reason to contact me.

Unless I'm busy, in which case, I'll call you back.

Aug 7, 2015

Spiritual Laziness

What makes people racist? I believe that it is spiritual laziness. I'm too lazy to get to know you as a person, so I'll just mentally lump you in with all the other people I don't know, who look like you.

What makes them sexist? Same thing. I'm too lazy to get to know you as a person, so I'll just lump you in with all the other people I don't know who share your gender.

Get the picture?  What if we withheld judgment pending further consideration? What if we got to know someone as a precious child of the most high God, giving them the benefit of the doubt?

That would change everything.

Aug 6, 2015

Premature Decorating

I saw this picture on Facebook, and I had to laugh, because, well, I just did.

Stores like Michael's and Hobby Lobby might be ok having Christmas crafting stuff out. If you make wreathes and sell them at a Christmas Craft Fair in November, you don't wait until Halloween to start making your inventory.

Dollar General, though, what's your excuse? Too soon for that.

Same with the Presidential debates on TV tonight. No way. The election isn't until November of NEXT YEAR! Why is everyone worrying about it now?

Go away, people. Come back when it's time. It's not time yet.

Aug 5, 2015

The Hollywood Scandal So Shocking, You Almost Won't Believe It!

The Hollywood Scandal So Shocking, You Almost Won't Believe It!


That was the teaser on the cover of a McCall's magazine from 1959. As do today's tabloids, they shock you with a headline that makes you want to buy. Online, it's called clickbait.

The inside, unfortunately, is usually a disappointment. You are expecting something earth shattering, and you're left thinking, "Is that all?"

That is especially prone to happen when you read the magazine 50 years later.

The 1959 shocker? Which Hollywood celebrities were getting a divorce.

I hate that we, as a society, are so jaded now that divorce is no longer a scandal. Many things should be now, that aren't.

What's really frightening is trying to imagine what the McCall's magazine (substitute) 50 years in the future will think is shocking.

I don't think I want to know.

Aug 4, 2015

Discretion Is the Better Part of Valor

I'm not saying what I think.

I'm not saying what I think.

I'm not saying what I think.

I'm not saying what I think.

I'm not saying what I think.

It's ok to have a thought and keep it in your head.
I'm growing. How do you like me so far?

Jul 31, 2015

Daddy's Knee

Daddy owned a bank. He's retired now, and other family members own it.

But we learned things at Daddy's knee, that many kids did not learn.

We learned to save money. We don't live beyond our means. My  credit rating is stellar, thanks to Daddy.

We learned that credit is a tool. Used properly, it can make a good thing better. Used improperly or recklessly, it can damage something beyond repair.

We learned to respect businessmen. They hire people. They sign the front of paychecks, so that others can sign the back. Don't begrudge them a profit. They must have an incentive, or why not just close the shop? No poor person ever gave me a job.

Taxing the 1% "more" is not the answer, since they'll just raise prices for everyone at the bottom. Don't listen to those who would cause divisiveness, and incite class warfare. They don't want to help you. They're only interested in making a name for themselves. They're using you.

Dad knows.

Jul 30, 2015

Bad Bosses

There are certain things they don't tell you in a job interview.

They never say "The environment is toxic, and you will die a little each day."
They never say "Work really hard here, so that others can steal credit for your work."
They never say "It's like working for the fire department: 90% boredom and 10% adrenaline."
They never say "The boss drinks, and his mistakes will be blamed on you - even if you were 1000 miles away at the time."
They never say "The great boss that hires you will soon be replaced by a micromanaging clueless, prideful, unrepentant man who breaks the laws of God and man with equal narcissism."

If they told you these things, who would work there? Yet, here you are, eager and anxious to apply for a job. Then you get in, and 3 months later, when the bloom is clearly off the rose, you want out. Except where would you go? Out of the frying pan and into the fire? You need the money. So you stay, while planning your exit strategy, thankful that you are able to look for a different job scrolling on your cellphone, without leaving an electronic history on your work computer.

It helps, I think, to view it as a mission trip. You can't just leave, say, Jamaica, as soon as it gets hard or uncomfortable. You can only leave when the group leaves, at the end of the trip. So you force yourself to cope, to put on a smile, to be civil.

We're not made for ease and comfort, but for greatness and purpose. The universe has your back. When you learn to be at peace in the uncomfortable place, then no matter where you are, you will be at peace.

That's the lesson. The sooner you learn it, the sooner you can stop looking for something else, and let the "something else" come to you.


Jul 28, 2015

Bacon

My sister posted a link of 10 top foods that cause cancer so stop eating them. Fine. Probably a good way to lose weight since everything I eat was on the list.

Then I got to bacon. Really? I'm supposed to stop eating bacon?



Who wants cancer? Who wants to die young?


Then I had to agree with my dad: everyone's gotta die from something.


If I die from bacon, I'll die happy, so it's ok. 



Jul 27, 2015

Hungry Women

We women are really good at beating ourselves up because we are used to being beaten up. If no one is doing the job of beating us up, we happily, as a martyr, do what no one else is doing: beating ourselves up.

What?

Yeah. I know, right?

It's a really perverse cycle. We compete with each other instead of building each other up. We say snippy things that cut to the bone. Why? To make us feel superior? We say ugly things about other women to our "friends." Why? To make us feel superior?

H'mmmm. Sounds like an ego problem.

Someone has to break the cycle. Someone has to say "I am worthy and precious and you do not talk to me that way."

Someone has to say "Hey, good luck in your job interview! I hope you get it!"  "You look great! Have fun on your date!" "Here - borrow my jacket. It will look great with what you're wearing!"

Nobody's doing that.

You do that. Fill in the gap. Women are desperate to hear some little morsel of encouragement. They are hungry for the words that YOU can say.

Don't let them starve. Open your mouth and speak so that others may live.

Jul 26, 2015

The Days of Dial-Up

My first word processing program was Multi Mate 5. My first modem was 24 baud in 1990. I've had the same aol email address since 1995, which is practically unheard of.



In 2000, I easily navigated Netscape and backed up data redundantly on iomega tapes.

In 2 decades the entire world is different because of the change in the way we communicate.

Like Gutenberg.  Did he know he was changing the world, by changing its communication? Are we being hopelessly old fashioned by supporting radio? Not really. People still have radios in their cars. Everyone can't afford satellite.

But its days are probably waning. What will be the next big thing?

Stay tuned. (Pun intended.)


Jul 18, 2015

Do The Right Thing

If you are on the playground with your friends, and a classmate is being excluded from the game, how do you respond?

I asked that of my VBS class this week, and got all the predictable answers: go ask him to join us, tell the other kids that we should include him, leave the group and go find a game that the other student can play...

In reality, I still see lonely kids on the playground.

Oh but if I go against my friends, they won't be my friends any more.
Oh but if I leave the group I'll miss out on this great game.
Oh but my team needs me.

Oh but.

When you know the right thing to do, you cannot pretend that you do NOT know the right thing to do.

My daughter was in a car wreck 6+ months ago. Thank God & guardian angels she was not hurt. Yesterday, we were informed by the insurance company that since the trucker who changed lanes into her denies liability (denies the TRUTH) and there were "no" witnesses, they will not be able to pursue damages from the trucking company.

NO witnesses? A busy interstate in Birmingham Alabama & no one was on it in the middle of the day except my daughter and an inattentive trucker?

No one stopped. No one gave her a name & number and offered to be a witness on her behalf. Oh, but they were in a hurry. Oh but someone else will do it. Oh but I'll pray for them...

Oh BUT.

Really? Get rid of the OH BUTS and do the right thing. If you witness an accident, stop to give the wronged party your name & number. You don't have to stick around. Give it and go.

Do the right thing.

Jul 16, 2015

Give a Dog a Bone

I love my dog. She's an old girl, but still takes pride in protecting us from errant squirrels and brown trucks. I give her a bone (a cookie) from time to time.

She would be loved and have everything she needs if I did not give her a bone.

But it makes me happy to make her happy.

Please toss me a bone, would ya? Thanks.

Jul 15, 2015

Whee vs Wow

There is a video being circulated now where a man asks random people if they'd rather have $1 or $150, and they choose the $1.  


No, no. I'm just kidding. What he offered them was the choice between a chocolate bar:

and a 10 oz. silver bar:
And they chose - you guessed it - the Hershey bar. The whee over the wow. 

Oh dear.

Jul 13, 2015

Look up!

How many times do you think people say (or think) "I can't imagine life without my smartphone." They panic when the battery goes low. They walk around aimlessly until they get a bar or 4.

In this society, I agree that phones are useful, even necessary. But can't imagine...?

Abraham couldn't imagine having a child, either, and God told him, "Get out of your tent! Look up! Look at the stars!"

Rappers sing about violence, because that's all they know. If they would get out of their tent, they'd see that a few miles down the road, mothers are kissing their children goodnight, fathers are working hard to provide for their families, children are paying attention in school, and babies are being snuggled.

Get out of your tent. If you think that your world is everyone's world, Honey, get out of your tent!

Look up. Look at the stars.

Jun 26, 2015

Rose Candle


"I would have burnt the pink candle that was sculptured like a rose before it melted while being stored," said the late Erma Bombeck, in an essay about how she might have lived her life differently. 

While growing up, my mom laughed uproariously at her columns, while I only chuckled at the jokes I got. I get all of them now.

I thought about my mom, and Erma, while wrapping the "good" koozie around my Dr. Pepper the other evening. 

The good koozie?

Yes, it's the fancy one. I keep it in the china cabinet.

You're kidding, right?

Um, no.

It's time to take the good koozie off the pedestal and put it to work! What, in heaven's name, am I saving it for? I don't have a lot of "nice" things (mother of 5 speaking) but if my drink is not worthy of the "good" koozie, than I have bigger problems than just having the wrong beverage in my hand.

Now go burn your rose candle.

Jun 25, 2015

Hate the Sin










It is incumbent upon me to hate the sin.

All sins.

Even my own.

Especially my own.


Jun 22, 2015

All Things Are Permissible


St. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:12

Douay-Rheims Bible
All things are lawful to me, but all things are not expedient. All things are lawful to me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 


If you are offended by this flag, and there is no righteous reason for me to fly it, then I will take it down out of respect for you. It's ok for me to fly it, but it's not ok to deliberately offend, in matters of little consequence. 

It's ok for me to eat beef, but not when my Hindu friend is visiting. It's ok for me to eat bacon, but not when my Muslim friend is visiting. I love my friends. All colors. All creeds. You don't win them over to your way of thinking by offending them deliberately. 

You start with your points of agreement. We are all energetic beings from the same Source. Let's start there.


Jun 19, 2015

Mind = Blown

You can hardly read internet articles any more without seeing a link or a listicle about something promising to "blow your mind!" (A listicle is what substitutes for journalism. It gives us a "list" of 10 things you must do, 5 things never to eat, 6 things that should never be on your resume, and so on.)

Blow my mind? Adrenal fatigue much? How can my mind be blown again and again? Really, the reason for the extra shoelace hole in my sneakers will blow my mind?

Or the ads on Yahoo, which I've seen with many variations on the theme: "Great new [insert name of product here - weight loss product, vitamin, etc] takes [insert store name here] by storm!  Really? Takes it by storm? The weight loss product didn't just show up on the drug store shelf one day and a reasonable amount of people bought a reasonable amount of it for whatever reason? People stormed? Did they have to call in riot control?

When everything is underlined, nothing is underlined.
When everything is bold, nothing is bold.
When everything blows my mind, nothing blows my mind.


Jun 15, 2015

Perception IS Reality

Everyone in advertising knows this: perception is reality. If you think a brand is good, it's good. If you think it's bad, it's bad. Doesn't matter what the facts are or the empirical data reveal.

Advertisers spend millions to convince you that the colored cereal in the box with the toucan is better than the colored cereal in the plain box. It must be working, because they're still doing it.

Anorexics think they're fat. What's defective here, the perception or the reality? The perception, of course. But it doesn't matter to the hurting person, because her view of reality is warped.

Bruce Jenner thinks he's a woman. What's defective here, the perception or the reality? Obviously the perception. However, the empirical data doesn't change his feelings.

Don't live by your feelings. Have a reality check before you permanently mutilate yourself or otherwise cause yourself harm. There may be other factors in play that you don't know yet.

Spiritual warfare is real. Guard your thoughts.

Jun 11, 2015

What I Can Control

I can't change it. Right now.

I can't get away from it. Right now.

All I can do is change the way I think about it.

I control my attitude.

I will control what I can control. What else can I do?

Jun 10, 2015

If It's Not Broken...



When beloved characters are redrawn, modernized, or changed from how we remember them, always ask why. It's foolish to change just for change's sake. Improvement, yes. Always strive to be better. But different? Why? Give me a great reason.

Look at Bob & Larry's eyes in this classic drawing. Now look at the version I first saw on some paper plates for sale at Wally world. The eyes in the second set are wrong! They aren't supposed to look like that.

I assumed that the paper plate manufacturer made a horrendous mistake, until I found the same drawings on the official Veggie Tales website.

When they got invisible arms, it was because the artists got lazy. It was "too hard," they said, to draw clever cutaways such as were in the original episodes. Ugh. That's not an improvement. And the new eyes? Don't forget what I said about "Whee!" vs "Wow!" New does not always mean better. Remember "New Coke?" "New Math?" Betamax?  Enough said.

Jun 9, 2015

Generosity

In another lifetime, I worked for the post office. I was trained in the office of an affluent area (let's call it M), then went to run an office in a rural area (let's call it S.) You can tell a lot about someone by the mail they receive.

When I got to S, the first thing I noticed is that no one there got the Wall Street Journal. Instead, they got magazines about backyard poultry or taxidermy. No one at M ever got chickens in the mail. M residents had wealth, and lots of it. They had large PO boxes that received statements from banks & brokerages. (Some had small boxes because they were too cheap to get big ones, so their mail was crammed in there.) The people of S, many of them, are unbanked. They'd get their SS check, cash it somewhere, bring the cash to me to buy money orders to mail their bills. Some of them needed my help filling them out. Some needed help addressing the envelope. I'm happy to help.

Come April 15, the M's were in line with huge envelopes sent certified. The S's put one stamp on their normal envelope (one page return) & dropped it in the slot.

For all their wealth, no one at M ever gave me eggs from their chickens, flowers or sugar cane or tomatoes from their garden, a cd of their favorite Christmas music, or even a thank you note.

Money doesn't buy class, and the people with the least material wealth are rich in ways that the Ms will never know.


Jun 7, 2015

Perseverance

Dr. Seuss was turned down by 27 publishers before one accepted And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street.

27! He had to keep believing that what he was doing was right, after 27 experts told him he wasn't worth publishing.

If you think you can, you're right. If you think you can't, you're right. Don't let others change your mind, if you're right.

Hang in there. If you know you're doing the right thing, keep doing it.

Don't give up.

Jun 2, 2015

The Evening News

Once upon a time, journalists had a sacred trust to bring us the truth about what was going on in the world, no matter how uncomfortable that truth may be.

Somewhere along the line, the financial interests took over the news, and started conditioning us with selected stories, particular slants, glaring omissions.

Even the talking heads themselves are now chosen for visual appeal, not credibility. It doesn't matter what's really going on. Look at the jewelry the talking head is wearing! She got a haircut! He got a facelift! She moderated the local spelling bee! If it bleeds, it leads! (Or is it ledes?) Who made the cut on American Idol? Is Don Draper smoking a real cigarette or cloves?

Wait, was there anything important that went on anywhere in the world today?

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain....

If the "news" is the only place where you're getting your news, you are missing out.

Big time.

Jun 1, 2015

Shiny Things


The finger said, "look at me! I have a ring! It's gold and diamonds! Don't I look grand?"

Another finger said, "Well, Honey Pie, I have a ring, too. It's platinum and has a channel cut of 9 gems."

The next finger said, "Hey, y'all! I've got yellow gold, and check out the carats on this bad boy!"

The baby finger cried when no one was looking, and wished that she were as grand as her big sisters.

The thumb was too busy being opposable and doing useful things to notice what anyone else was wearing.

Sisters, my sisters: individually, we are weak, like fingers. Together, we are strong, like a fist.

Who will be "together" with me? Who will help raise the vibration of the world, and appreciate things that are far more valuable than jewelry? (Jewelry's ok - just not as important as positive vibes...)

I need serious friends. Spiritually mature friends. Friends who will encourage me, not judge me because your ring is bigger than mine.

I need Divine Connections.

Who's in?

May 30, 2015

Money Talks

If people would quit buying plastic crap from China, they'd stop making plastic crap.

If people only bought organic food, you'd find that stores would stock nothing but.

If people refused to pay thousands of dollars for sporting events tickets, the price *would* come down.

I can't change the world. I can, however, use my resources for good.

So can you. Not only can you, you must. For all of us.

May 29, 2015

The Cost of "Free"

Words that strike terror in the hearts of mothers everywhere: "Look, Mommy! Mrs. Smith gave us a kitten!"
Oh, but it was free! No cost! No charge! Take it! It's yours!

Next time someone wants to give you something for "free," substitute the word "problem" for the item's name.

Here, take this problem! It's free! I'm giving it to you [so you can be responsible for feeding it, cleaning up after it, and paying for medical care]!

You're such a good friend that I'm going to give you this problem [so that you can pay for insurance, new tires, brakes, and a timing belt and I can feel less guilty about going out and buying something decent].

Honey, look what I got for free - it was put out to the curb! Can you believe someone would just leave a problem out there [for us to haul away so they don't have to look at it, because it's ugly, has no functional value and will take up space in an already cramped living space, bring chaos to our view, our lives and our souls]?

Are you starting to see the cost of free? The only thing people want to get rid of is their problem. They'd love to give it to you.

But you'd have to take it. Does it bring you joy or needed function? Well, ok. Otherwise, don't do it. The cost is too high.

To what "free" gift will you say "No!" today?

Blessed Are the Hump Sitters

Forget texting and driving - the real distraction for drivers is fighting kids. "He touched me!" "She touched me first!" and on it goes. Parents only wish they had eyes in the back of their head, for then justice would be meted out without objection.

So, being the peacemaker that I am, I have taken to sitting on the hump. You know, that back seat middle hump that is the least comfortable in the car. One kid to my right, one to my left, one up front with Dad, no one in touching distance of anyone else, and can we please relax now and stop distracting the driver?

It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the safety of all of us. Of course, I'm praying for guardian angels to protect us on our journey, but I think they secretly like and/or appreciate when I do my part.

Blessed are the hump sitters... start of a new set of Beatitudes?

May 26, 2015

Addiction and the Age of Loneliness

There is some interesting research that indicates that addiction is not just a matter of your brains being  hijacked by chemicals. Read here for a wake up call: The Likely Cause of Addiction

According to Johann Hari, the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but human connection. Those who are connected and loved, don't get addicted. Interesting. If this author is correct, tough love is not the answer to your addicted loved ones. Love is.

People are hungry - starving - to be loved, to be accepted, to be be connected to other humans.

There is no line waiting around the block to be judged. There is a long line (and hospitals and jails) filled with people who long to be loved. To connect. To belong.

May 24, 2015

The Few, the Proud


To all the men and women who serve and have served the US with your military service, thank you.

Why do the Marines call themselves "the few, the proud?" Because if it were easy, everyone would join. If winning the 6-A ring were easy, all the teams would win. Only one wins.

In the book of Judges, Gideon had to thin the troops, so that when they won the battle with so few men, everyone would know it was only with God's help.

Joel Osteen said, "Everyone cannot go where God is taking you. Someone gets off the bus at every stop." You don't need thousands of Facebook friends, or Twitter followers. You need a few close friends who encourage you to be the best version of yourself.

Now, go be fabulous. But be prepared to say goodbye to people you thought you couldn't live without. 

May 19, 2015

Hungry Moms

Moms are generally a hungry bunch.

Sometimes, they're hungry for food, because in all the day's craziness, eating somehow didn't happen (and baby leftovers don't count.) Mostly, though, what moms are hungry for, is validation.

Moms need someone to talk to. For the first couple years of a child's life, he's not much of a conversationalist. Some kids grow to adulthood and are never given that gift. It's ok. Kids are not your friends. You need FRIENDS you can talk to. Other moms.

Maybe one who has already been where you are.
Who understands.
Who doesn't judge.

Friends who have kids know that you are doing the best you can, and if you got dressed today, it's been a great day of accomplishment. Between the spills and boo boos, the laughter and tears, every day just sort of blurs into the next, and once in a while you drop into the chair from exhaustion, and someone crawls in your lap, because they need.... a hug, they need.... your attention.

They need... what only you can provide.


Those of us who have been there, are cheering you on. Even when it's hard. Even when it's crazy. Even when you're hungry, and wondering if anyone understands.

We do. We're cheering you on.

You go, girl.